June 25, 2003
Is My Life Better Than Yours? Find Out Here!
WOW is that entry old.
My life... it just kind of rules. I don't want to be a braggy face, but like... it rules, ok? I remember on New Year's Eve this year standing alone on the edge of a cliffy-hilly-canyony type thing in Echo Park at a party, when midnight struck, and i was overtaken with this sense of just how OK everything was going to be, and it's so fucking OK it's SICK. It's SICK AMOUNTS OF OK.
So 2003 is sick amounts of OK, and then 29 so far is boobs, too. For my birthday this year, I got myself out of debt (a pretty decent amount of debt, too, like a third of my income for a year... i ain't ashamed of getting rid of it) and now that that's over I start saving that same amount every month to buy a house to live in, but to pat myself on the back I gave myself my June payment as my birthday present to go on a Shopping Trip in The Stores Where They Sell SHOES and CLOTHING That's Not So Expensive It Gives You Soup Ass! I spent the shit out of that money. And like, seriously, i mean, i'm gonna cry some valley girl tears here... it was everything i hoped it would be and more. Like I walked into Sportie LA and I walked out with three pairs of adidas and NO GUILT. Every pair of adidas that made me go "ooooooh" i BOUGHT THEM.
And I bought two more pairs of shoes (and one of them is a platforms and if you thought me and my two new inches were huge in flip flops, i am EVEN HUGER in platforms) and a yellow ring (that i think i already lost because i cannot keep a ring to save my life, god forbid anyone ever tries to marry me, it'll never work unless we use epoxy), a pair of sunglasses, two pairs of silk boy-cut mary greens, a pair of jeans (regular is the new super-tight-and-slutty, fyi) five skirts, five shirts, no six shirts, a custom-made dress, the barry mcgee tokion doll ... and i still had a bunch left over that now i'm just spitting away on dinners out and stuff but that's totally fine.
It's giving me a boner even now, two weeks after the fact. Yo, I didn't just stimulate the economy, i stuck a fuckin butt plug in it.
Here is what else I got on or around my birthday:
A Wee Man sighting on Sunset Blvd.
A sinus infection.
The brand new ability to touch my face to my knees from a standing position (summer is the time in kung fu when we STRETCH)
Ginger goop that smells good enough to eat but it goes on your legs.
A plane ticket to a faraway land that I have never been to.
The good touch.
A spontaneous round of applause.
Most of the feeling back in my chin from when i got my wisdom teeth sextracted.
A JC MOTHERFUCKING CHASEZ SIGHTING, I SHIT YOU NOT, IN THE FLESH (I think it probably could have been a much longer more involved sighting if i hadn't said, out loud, kinda not in my inside voice "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH. MY GOD." when i saw him -- i think that might have made him decide not to eat at the restaurant we were eating at. Remember that time i said only paul reubens would make me lose my shit? I stand really corrected. Oh and I think Chris Kirkpatrick was with him but who cares.)
A birthday morning wake up from the Beauty Pill, who were touring... i had all five beauty pills in my house for three days, and my house is actually an apartment, and that sounds like it could easily be bad but instead it was GOOD
A new band to be in, which is me + the members of the Beauty Pill and we are called Rental Wolves.
Compliments.
My cousin Tara was on Jeopardy for three nights starting on my birthday and she almost broke the one-day winnings record and Alex Trebek was all "oh my god, Tara, you rule!" not literally, but you could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice, he luvved her.
A really big white flower i stole from someone's garden which I hope doesn't ruin my karma but they were growing like weeds and it was my BIRTHDAY!
Green panties with white polka dots that are totally 'Sproing!'. I really recommend that one of your friends opens a lingerie shop, because I find that it has drastically improved my quality of life.
I think that's it but I reserve the right to add more because I feel like I'm forgetting some stuff.
Anyway, yes, I'm in favor of 2003, and in favor of being 29.
