| My Very Interesting and Utterly Pro-fesh-nul Interview with the Foo Fighters. | |||||||||
| Things to know before reading: at the time, i lived in a rock house called Kansas, and my friend Billups is the DJ. Ok go. | |||||||||
| Billups: So let's take that caller on line 2. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Mom? I'm sorry i'm late... | |||||||||
| Billups:: Hey are you there? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, World Class Rock Journalist:: Hello? | |||||||||
| Billups:: Yeah, what's your question? and your name? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: My name is Mary i'm calling from Kansas, and i wanted to know if the Foo Fighters know Janeane Garafalo? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: I've met Janeane Garafalo before... | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: YOU HAVE? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Uh huh. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: I can barely hear you, you have? You met her? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: (very close to mic) I have met Janeane Garafalo. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Well um, where'd you meet her? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: (laffs) | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: If i have a party will you bring her over to our house so we can meet her too? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Well I've never been to her house and I don't know her well enough to go to her house? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: You don't have her number or anything do you? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: 555... No, I'm sorry I don't. Why don't next time I see her I'll tell her you said Hey. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: OK! Hey Billups, I'm your number one fan! | |||||||||
| Billups: Yeah I figured you might be. | |||||||||
| Foo Fighters: (various confused noises) thanks? | |||||||||
| Billups: No that's MY number one fan. | |||||||||
|
Assorted Foo Fighters: That's our ONE phone call? Is this syndicated is this like across the country? Yeah I'm confused by kansas, we had another call from kansas once too which is I guess.. who knows? There's no place like home. It's those Get-Up Kids in Kansas.. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: (little tiny noise) | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Are you still on? Mary? | |||||||||
| Billups: So wait hold on a second, mary. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: OK! | |||||||||
| Billups: Whose shadow is everyone livin in? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Whose shadow? | |||||||||
| Billups:Yeah. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: How you mean? | |||||||||
| Billups: I don't know I'm just messin with ya. I think it's mine. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: What do you mean you're from Kansas or you're hearing this in Kansas? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: No, I'm from Kansas in Arlington. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Whu.. say what? | |||||||||
| Billups: I could clear this up but I'm just enjoying it too much. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: (laffs) | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Right now you're where? In Arlington? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: I'm in Arlington VA | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: But you're from Kansas. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: I've got Kansas pride man WHOOOOOOOOO! | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: OK. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: If you guys need a show, you can have a show at our house. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Do we need a show? What kinda show? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: You can play at our house. | |||||||||
|
Assorted Foo Fighters: If we're lookin to play a basement... Oh to play at your house! We thought you were gonna give us a show. We'll be right over! Hey didn't you know we were giving away a show? Hey do you go to HB Woodlawn? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: HP whitlawn? | |||||||||
|
A Foo Fighter: H.. never mind. There's a high school called HB Woodlawn. It's in Arlington. How much have you had to drink this evening? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Me? I haven't had a damn thing! | |||||||||
|
A Foo Fighter: I haven't had a daaaaaamn thang... Just checkin. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: You're the famous rock stars, you're all drunk and high. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Well no see actually, we do heroin. We don't mess with the alcohol, we pretty much stick to the dope. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Oh. Does Janeane Garafalo do heroin? | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: (laffs) No, I don't think so. | |||||||||
| Billups: I've always felt that somewhere along the line that Janeane and I were soulmates, but I figure she got famous too fast for us to hook up. That's kind of a weird vein you're hitting for me. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: So you've been living in HER shadow. | |||||||||
| Billups: I think so definitely. I've been livin a lie; we've both been livin a lie. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Oh man. That's too bad. | |||||||||
| Billups: We actually would have gotten along. If you run into her again maybe mention me. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Did you see that movie where she goes to Ireland.. The Matchmaker? | |||||||||
| Billups: I don't think I've seen a stinkin one of her movies, I just think she's really interesting. | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: It wasn't very good. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Did you see that, Mary? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Yeah. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Did you like it? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: It was... nooooooooo. | |||||||||
| A Foo Fighter: Nooooooooo? | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: She doesn't seem to get movies that quite fit her, except for that one... Clay Pigeons was a good role for her. | |||||||||
| Everyone: [blah blah blah boring stuff about skeet shooting.] | |||||||||
| Billups: All right well good night Mary Chen. Sleep well baby. | |||||||||
| Foo Fighters: Good night mary! | |||||||||
| Mary Chen, WCRJ: Bye! | |||||||||
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